So uhm, today I went at school to enroll for this coming 2011-2012 1st semester. All students needs to be evaluated on what subjects are to be taken prior on what they already took the last previous years. It turned out real bad for me because of the stupid decisions I made early in my college life of not attending and dropping my subjects. During my 1st & 2nd year, It's all good for me, I wasn't able to feel the pressures and problems of not attending my classes. But now, it's my 4th year this year and everyone is expecting me to graduate but it's the other way around. My teacher who is evaluating me explained everything clearly and to make the long story short, because of my stupidity earlier in my college life, I'm not graduating in the next two years. I was just so depressed during that time. I was kinda expecting it for me to happen on not graduating on time but two years is just so far. I was already practicing on what to say to day because he'll be super pissed for sure.
I made a lot of thinking and I kinda figured out why I feel so nervous and feeling guilty about the situation, it's because I'm not paying for my studies and I'm just asking for money from my parents. It came into my mind on what if I'll pay for my studies so that I can do whatever I want. Maybe that's the answer but it will be not easy though. I haven't work for anyone ever in my entire life except of my practicum this last summer, that's the only experience of “work” I'm leaning into. I'm lazy and all but this is the price that I'll have to pay for my stupidity. The first place that came in to my mind of where I want to work was my brother's. I'm still waiting for something so that on what decisions that I'll make.
This situation haven't really sink-ed into my head, maybe this is just a sudden decision because of the situation but I really have to face the fact that I'm not graduating this year but in two years.
